I don’t know about every parent of a child with a disability, but for me letting her out of my protection zone is very difficult. I spent so many years fighting for her from various abusers, and working to instill the abiltiy to make good decisions………I know, that’s what we all do with all of our children. It has nothing to do with the disability. However, when she was little I had to keep my mouth shut while teachers talked about her within ear-shot of me and in elementary school I would hear what the other kids were saying about her. The whole time she was oblivious to it and thought everyone she loved, loved her back the same. I will admit that one of my mistakes (and there are many of course) is that in a way I would “catch her” before she fell. I would re-direct her if I saw something or someone who would hurt her. But, I’m a Momma Bear and proud of it.
Why am I writing about this tonight? Because she is away on her own out of state with a group of teens she met at an event last summer. She went to a wonderful leadership opportunity program for oral deaf teens. The group bonded so much that they have spent this entire year texting each other across the nation as though they were in school together everyday. They organized a reunion with the support of the host parents. So, my thinking was that I would tell her she needed to save the money herself. This would teach her responsibility and determine if she was serious or just living in the excitement of pipe dreams. Secretly, of course, I never thought she would save the money. She has never been able to save $5.00 because she loves to spend her money on her friends and family. Wouldn’t you know it, she saved the money!!! On the last day of school this year, I took her to the airport and put her o a plane at 10:00pm to go to a lake house. Wow! Only other parents of deaf teens would understand the care and caution of managing hearing aids and cochlear implants on a beach trip. It was truly a leap of FAITH. I was excited and nervous for her all at the same time.
She of course got their safely and is, of course, having the time of her life. The reality is, I am afraid not of her and her choices, she is a good girl………..smart, safe, careful; I am terrified of what the world might do to her, of someone taking advantage of her combination of trusting nature, lack of awareness that stems from her delays & disabilities, and ……I don’t know, the unkown.
But really all I’m feeling tonight is proud of her and happy for her.