melinda gillinger

Assembly Success

admin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 00:48:58 +0000

What a wonderful day!! I had the opportunity to do an assembly for all of the 2nd graders at an elementary school where I work with a student. I’ve done a lot of trainings for both adults and children, but this one was soooo different. I talked to them about all disabilities, what people with disabilities can do and can accomplish, and how they can be supportive of their friends with special needs.

The most amazing thing happened at the end of the assembly. The kids who are in general education and the kids who are in special education all started to raise their hands and share their own special needs. Oh my goodness, to think that they felt safe enough on the 2nd day of school to share these kinds of things with their friends! My own 13 yr. old son told me there was no way he would have done that. What a beautiful day!!

Mission Possible

admin — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 00:46:29 +0000

I took the boys to see a play today….not just any play, and they loved it! Especially Will….he laughed and participated. The play was called Mission Possible and was performed by children and teens who are all Deaf/Hard of Hearing and who use spoken language. These are all No Limits kids, and Michelle, you do such a great job with them. These families are truly lucky to have you in their corner. It was especially fun because I have worked with most of these families in one capacity or another. What a blessing to hear them perform, see them shine, and see their friends and families bursting with pride and happiness. Thank you Martina for inviting me.

Krysta’s Birthday

admin — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 00:43:58 +0000

18 years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. When I was alone in my room with her in my arms, on my chest, against my heartbeat, looking down at her I knew for the first time in my life what it meant to truly fall in love. We have been on such an amazing journey together. There have been life-shattering, horrible times that I didn’t think I was capable of surviving and miraculous, breath-taking moments that have defined who I am and my purpose on this earth. And today she turns 18…today she thinks she can make all her own decisions… but, oh yeah, I still need to take care of her because she’s still just a kid.

Thank you, Sylvia, for telling me about the book Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall!! (Macmillan) Life sure is funny, and so is Krysta. She actually looked at me yesterday and lovingly asked me if it seemed like just yesterday that she was a baby. HAHA, no baby, we have walked a long, long road. It most definitely does not feel like yesterday. But what is still as fresh as it was 18 years ago, is how much I love you. I am proud of the person you are and proud of the mother I am.

Out of My Protection Zone…

admin — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 05:22:45 +0000

I don’t know about every parent of a child with a disability, but for me letting her out of my protection zone is very difficult. I spent so many years fighting for her from various abusers, and working to instill the abiltiy to make good decisions………I know, that’s what we all do with all of our children. It has nothing to do with the disability. However, when she was little I had to keep my mouth shut while teachers talked about her within ear-shot of me and in elementary school I would hear what the other kids were saying about her. The whole time she was oblivious to it and thought everyone she loved, loved her back the same. I will admit that one of my mistakes (and there are many of course) is that in a way I would “catch her” before she fell. I would re-direct her if I saw something or someone who would hurt her. But, I’m a Momma Bear and proud of it.

Why am I writing about this tonight? Because she is away on her own out of state with a group of teens she met at an event last summer. She went to a wonderful leadership opportunity program for oral deaf teens. The group bonded so much that they have spent this entire year texting each other across the nation as though they were in school together everyday. They organized a reunion with the support of the host parents. So, my thinking was that I would tell her she needed to save the money herself. This would teach her responsibility and determine if she was serious or just living in the excitement of pipe dreams. Secretly, of course, I never thought she would save the money. She has never been able to save $5.00 because she loves to spend her money on her friends and family. Wouldn’t you know it, she saved the money!!! On the last day of school this year, I took her to the airport and put her o a plane at 10:00pm to go to a lake house. Wow! Only other parents of deaf teens would understand the care and caution of managing hearing aids and cochlear implants on a beach trip. It was truly a leap of FAITH. I was excited and nervous for her all at the same time.

She of course got their safely and is, of course, having the time of her life. The reality is, I am afraid not of her and her choices, she is a good girl………..smart, safe, careful; I am terrified of what the world might do to her, of someone taking advantage of her combination of trusting nature, lack of awareness that stems from her delays & disabilities, and ……I don’t know, the unkown.

But really all I’m feeling tonight is proud of her and happy for her.

House Ear Family Camp

melinda — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 00:13:48 +0000

What a wonderful weekend. Each year families from all over Southern California look forward to Family Camp in the Malibu Mountains. It’s an opportunity for families to connect with other people living very similar and yet all unique lives with children who are deaf and hard of hearing. Families bring hearing siblings, extended families, children with deafness and other disabilities……..it’s beautiful. We have kids from CSDR and other sign-based programs, oral option schools, and kids who are completely mainstreamed in their local schools. There are families from LA, Bakersfield, Ventura, Orange County, and more. This year we even had a family who came to camp from Georgia.

The counselors are all volunteers who take such brilliant care of our children that it is literally the only time every year that when my 3 kids aren’t with me, I’m not worried AT all. I got some “me-time,” some bonding time with other parents, and I once again had the opportunity to share our experiences along this journey of raising a successful oral deaf child. ….she’s not such a child anymore J

For Dean and Will, this weekend each year gives them the chance to meet other boys their ages whose lives are often consumed with the needs of their siblings who are deaf/hard of hearing (DHH). None of their friends at home can ever truly understand what their life is like. It also warms the heart that each year this weekend sparks an interest in Dean and Will to know how to sign so that they can communicate with the kids who don’t use spoken language.

Once again Krysta made me proud. She comes to camp and I see the realization of my dreams. When she was 11 months old I remember thinking that maybe she would grow up to be a communication bridge between the Hearing World and the Deaf Culture. Whenever she participates in a panel for parent workshops, she speaks so clearly and the parents seem to receive the message they need for wherever they may be in this journey. Then she goes out on the field or sits in the cafeteria until all hours of the night signing away to her friends who don’t have access to sound. …..and that my friends, is why I did this 14 years ago!! So that she would have a choice, so that she would have the ability and opportunity to talk to anyone. (P.S. we had CART for the parents to see so that more kids can benefit)

This group of people, along with everyone who came before and didn’t make it this year, and everyone who may be new next year, feels like the extended family I’ve been missing and searching for.

WHAT A BLESSING!!